Whether you’re just starting to date or you’re in a long term relationship, couples need to talk with each other more. We all need the emotional connection you get when expressing your thoughts and feelings to someone who actively listens and cares. Intimate conversations with the person you love give you both a deeper appreciation and understanding of your desires, fears, hopes and dreams. Although you may feel vulnerable revealing intimate secrets about yourselves, sharing and exploring sensitive subjects together builds trust in your relationship and strengthens the bond with your partner. What you need is a good range of intimate questions to ask and a setting that encourages you both to start a conversation.
A friend of mine is currently trying to find a woman to start a relationship with. He is exploring online dating but he expressed a common frustration. It’s actually the same kind of problem couples in long term relationships experience when they assume they know each other:
“What do we talk about?”
Most online dating sites attempt to get couples communicating online first, then via phone calls then in person. When you think about it, married couples are in a similar situation when either one is away for some reason – they can only communicate via phone or email. It can actually be liberating since many people can express themselves more openly this way. You may even feel freer to discuss more sensitive and intimate subjects like love and sex. It’s an excellent opportunity to explore new interests and discuss creative ways to spice up your relationship.
But the question still remains: What do you talk about? Also, how do you bring up more sensitive subjects that you want to explore but are either too shy or afraid to talk about? For married couples it can be especially difficult to bring up sex questions even though it could be extremely important for maintaining their relationship. To ease the potential tension and make the conversation more fun, the intimate questions could be introduced as part of a game.
Here is a simple relationship game I suggested to my friend. Buy a book on relationships, romantic ideas or even a sex guide. While on a phone date (email, webcam and in person works too), suggest playing a sexy game of intimate questions. If they are willing to play, describe these simple rules:
- Inform your partner about a new book you have on love and sex
- Ask for a random number that corresponds to the pages in the book
- Scan the page and read a section you find interesting or describe a picture
- They then ask you a provocative question related to what you read
- You answer the question and discuss the response then ask your own question
Your sexy questions may end up being funny, intimate or serious. Some may even make you squirm in your seat as you face your own thoughts and feelings. Here are some benefits of using the book as the basis of your intimate questions:
- You don’t control the topics so when sensitive subjects do come up you don’t need to censor yourself
- You will come across subjects you may conveniently avoid even thinking about but are important
- By playing the game, you are both in a more open frame of mind and ready to discuss sensitive ideas
The book provides the context around your discussion and may even give you more information or resources to help explore it in more detail.
I recommended the book 237 Intimate Questions Every Woman Should Ask a Man by Laura Corn. It contains a collection of snippets from other relationship books with a corresponding question already defined. Since my friend is a guy, I suggested he switch the rules slightly so that he reads the material and sex question then answers it first as if the woman was asking him. Then discuss the answer possibly with related questions and answers. Check off each question you do so you can go through them all without repeating – at least the first time round. Once you meet in person, give your date a copy of the book as a gift.
This relationship game for couples is great for when you want more intimate ideas to talk about on the phone. It’s even better when you’re together and in a playful or romantic mood. Play it as a bedroom game – building your emotional connection while thinking and talking about erotic ideas can lead to some amazing sex.
One caution for couples in a new relationship: when sharing secret thoughts and details with each other, start slow as you increase your levels of trust in each other. Keep the questions light hearted and focus on relationship building questions rather than any subtle or implied accusations. Also listen intently to your partner with an open mind – you are playing this game to better understand each other and develop a deeper emotional connection.
Here are some other sources of information to inspire your intimate question and answer sessions:
- 469 Fun Sex Questions for Couples
- 1000 Questions for Couples
- 500 Lovemaking Tips & Secrets
- The Guide to Getting It On!
- Getting the Sex You Want
- Never Have the Same Sex Twice
- Sex is Fun – Creative Ideas for Exciting Sex
- 500 Intimate Questions for Couples
Also check out the Sex is Fun Game. It’s a great way to learn about your partner and discover things you’ve never tried before. The intimate questions and sexy challenges will help you share fantasies and erotic desires. To kick start a naughty conversation about sexual fantasies, get one of our Frisky Sexual Fantasies and Roleplay Ideas books available in Kindle, paperback and hardcover formats:
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Use the ideas to stimulate your erotic imaginations together. Pick a sexy scenario and dare each other to enhance or alter the storyline with your own delightfully wick thoughts.